I was perusing instagram the other day and just randomly "liking" everything that caught my eye which I have to say is just about everything!! I follow some very talented people!! When I had to say "whoaaaaa" slow down and go back.
And there she was on the cover of her body book.
Oh my god she is PERFECT!
There is not one wrinkle. skin splotch, wayward freckle, sun damage, dimple, hair and her little pink body suit thingy fits just right with not the faintest of skin wanting to escape, bust out and head for the hills!!
Then I showed it to my daughter..........
She said "Mom you would look like that it if you had a body book. It's called photoshop."
That was when I thought to myself, I must be doing pretty good. For my soon to be 21 year old daughter who has grown up with Victoria Secret and the Kardashians to understand that it's all an illusion. Perfect is in the eye of the beholder.
This year I am doing #move 2015 on my Instagram. It's not because I have the illusion that I will ever have a body like Cameron Diaz. Because let's face it.........
Number 1 and the most obvious to me. She has NEVER had babies. She has never had her breasts swell up the size of cantaloupes and feel just as hard only to then have them deflate like a two year old's birthday balloon after a 5 hour party at Chuck E. Cheese. We won't even get in to the stretch marks that no amount of aloe vera or body butter are going to help when you are carrying 7 pound 8 ounce baby in to it's ninth month. Oh and the hips I got that never went away!
Number 2 the woman is 5 foot 9. Hello!
Number 3 she gets paid hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions to look like that. Personal trainers, spa days, nutritionist all for her. Do you think she would have gotten hired for that dumb/funny Sex Tape movie she did last if she weighed 30 pounds more? Seriously she was in her underwear and roller skates for goodness sake. I don't think they would have hired say Melissa McCarthy for that roll and she's pretty damn funny. Nope Cameron is working out every day, I mean she surfs or paddle boards or something that involves the ocean when I can't even touch it with my toe without wanting to recoil into a pile of warm blankets. And if she hasn't had botox on that perfect face I might as well just jump off a bridge now!! Lastly she is most definitely not eating pancakes and bacon, donuts, cupcakes or au gratin potatoes. I am pretty sure she only eats "pretty" food like a kale and beet smoothies and buckwheat pancakes with no Aunt Jemima. And definitely no butter. Yep that's what gluten free, rice free, dairy free, sugar free, caffeine free, taste free looks like. I am positive there are no pizza rolls and tater tots in her freezer to feed hungry kids in a pinch.
Number 4 I do not possess that kind of will power.
Number 5 I like cupcakes.
Ok I LOVE cupcakes.
She is stunning though. And she is only one year older than me.
That's what 42 looks like? I am in serious trouble lol!!
So I am just going to go with it's all photoshopped:)
You can follow my #move 2015 adventures on instagram @freckledstar. I promise you won't be seeing any of my jiggly bits. I am only trying to hold myself accountable for eating better and moving my butt. Cameron Diaz I will never be but being Andrea Villarreal isn't such a bad gig. Even if my jeans are too tight:)
**Just wanted to say this is not a dig to Cameron Diaz. She is an awesome actress and I have watched The Other Woman on HBO 15 times so far this month:)