Tomorrow Frank and I will have been married 21 years.
Last year at this time Frank was still in Iraq.
Within this year Frank has come home.
Our oldest son has completed boot camp, OSUT and Airborne school and is now stationed in Alaska.
Our daughter graduated high school and has started college in downtown Los Angeles.
Our youngest just began his sophmore year and next week is going to driving school.
And within all these huge life changes for our children Frank and I have struggled.
Struggled with letting go and letting life go on.
I can see why Frank wants to hold on. He missed an entire year. A huge year. The same way I can see why I want to let them go. I was there that year and it was exhausting!
I can also see why with all these changes Frank has really struggled.
Reintergration has been tough. Really tough. Harder than I ever thought it would be. The holidays were a nightmare. Zachary left and I was wreck. Then winter fully set in and with it a darkness I didn't know if we'd see through.
But we gave each other the silent treatment, then we couldn't take it anymore, then we'd come to an understanding and then we'd start all over again.
Marriage is not a fairy tale. The problem with happily ever after is you don't know what happily ever after entails. Do we? I mean I am sure Cinderalla had to produce an heir after she married the prince. Swollen ankles don't really fit in glass slippers do they? I'm sure Prince Eric farted every once in awhile and Ariel probably had problems with her mother in law considering the sordid life she lived under the sea. Snow White was probably deathly afraid of apples and Charlize Theron. And most likely talked about it incessantly to the point that Prince Charming needed another beer. Plus she had those stupid dwarves that I am sure more than once left the lid off the blender before turning it on and leaving a big fat mess for her to clean up.
Then there is me and my fairy tale.....
Try being married to a soldier who has been taught to keep it all in. Not complain. Suck it up and embrace that suck. They are tough to break. You have heard the expression "like pulling teeth"! But when you finally do break through the reward is nothing short of a miracle. And with it comes a deeper understanding, apprecation and love that few people can ever truly understand.
You have to fight for it. And sometimes you have to love a little more than the other person to bring them back in. Sometimes you have to give a little more than you want. You'll want to be stubborn and then realize it's getting you no where so why? Life is too short!
The simple fact is I love him.
He's like a wrecking ball, exasperating, intense and there are days I want to hurl him out a window.
But then there are other days when I love him so much I think my heart might explode.
That's why we are both still here 21 years later.
Through thick and thin. Through better or worse.
And trust me it is nothing short of a miracle.
The truth of the matter is some years will be better than others.
Sometimes you aren't going to like each other very much.
There will be more than one day you'll want to head for the hills.
Or maybe you have that perfect fairy tale marriage:)
This is my fairy tale and I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.
God has had a plan for me and part of that plan is to love and nurture this man.
Life is what we make it.
It will be imperfect and messy.
Our struggles will only make us stronger.
It's a beautiful life.
Us September 1st 1991.........
Us September 1998.........
Us December 2011........
Happy Anniverasry chief:)