Yesterday and progress.............

Yesterday I gave my Zachary Ryan to the Army...........

Definitely one of the hardest days of my life and I have had some pretty hard days............

It doesn't matter that you know it's coming. It doesn't matter that you think you are prepared for it. Because all that really does matter is that nothing will ever be the same again. He'll never live with us again. This 4 months of boot camp and training are only the beginning. Then he'll get his permanent duty station which won't be near us. Then more than likely he'll be deployed to that God forsaken middle east. He will be forever changed. Our family is forever changed............

But with that comes a new chapter, and yes I could sit around and wallow but I won't. I did that yesterday and it was for the birds. Now granted the lump is still lodged deep in my throat. I will worry about him every single minute of the day. I will pray that he stays healthy and that the Army doesn't drain out of him all the love and compassion I have instilled in him these last 21 years. And that every day he'll get up, keep his head up and persevere. I know he can do it and there is no doubt in my mind that he will be an outstanding soldier. I am so incredibly blessed to be his mom. I have not regretted staying at home with all my children for one minute. I have never missed a word, a step, a bad dream, an tummy ache, a laugh, a cry, a broken heart, an accomplishment, a school assembly, a driver's test and so many more tiny little things that add up to 21 years..............

Which is why with a heavy heart I let him go. He was ready and for as much as I thought I was ready I really am not. But there comes a time you just have to let them go. And make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons and live their own life and just hope to God they don't forget everything you taught them the minute they step out the door.

So that's my sad story...........

Now I'll take a deep breath and move on.............

Let's talk progress:)

Last week blew to be sure. I had a headache starting Wednesday and didn't end til Saturday night. We went up to Cayucos for 3 days and that sucked. No Duckies Chowder or garlic bread or soda or Brown Butter Cookies or gramma Dee's cooking. I stuck to salads. Except for breakfast I ate a half a pancake 3 mornings straight. But I did do a 4 mile hike up to Bishop Peak in San Luis Obsipo. Only felt like I was going to throw up twice:) So not a complete cleanse I guess. I did better sticking to it last year but then again last year Frank was not home and Zachary was not leaving. Today I am getting back on track. Yesterday I didn't eat anything so I think my weight right now isn't a true number. I'm not an emotional eater, I am an emotional non eater. Which is just as bad as over eating in a way. I need to force myself to eat today even though I am not hungry.

Conclusion I'm all jacked up right now but I am starting again. Because every day is a new day......

"It's not how many times you fall that matters, but how many times you get back up"

Be back soon:)

 

 

Comments

[Terry Frias]

You inspire me to be sronger than I already am. You rock Mammasita! xoxoxo

[Deanna]

Andrea, you are such a great mom....I know how hard it is to let go when you really would just like to hold them close for always. You have done a great job, our lives change...the family grows. There will be lots of new adventures and challenges and I know you will continue to inspire your family and friends. I'm so glad you are my friend.

[Dawn Cychner]

I can not imagine what you have been through in your mind the last few days. My dear, know that you are not alone. You are loved! You continue to inspire us everyday. You've raised a remarkable boy to be a remarkable man and now he sets off on his journey, know that you are forever a part of his journey and he is part of yours.

[Elaine The Left Pea]

WOW....Where did the time go? It seems like just a few years ago he was a little boy....now he is a amazing MAN!!!! Good job, to you and Frank!!!!

Blessings !!!!

[danielle muller]

a beautiful post...

blessings,
danielle

[LuLu]

{{{{Andrea}}}} I am all choked up with tears on this post. You truly have a way with your writing to convey how deeply you feel about your family.

Love,
LuLu*~*xoxo